I’m being serious

I rarely get hit on. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t necessarily want to be hit on. I want to be by myself for a while but it’s a bit offensive that it seems like the whole world has agreed to this as well. It would be nice to have some reassurance that I didn’t have to end up with the co-op guy who asked me if I wanted a loyalty card.

I decided to do a mini survey of why people thought this was happening to me:

Friend from home: “You’re so picky.”

Mum: “It’s because you’re an ice queen.”

Flatmate: “It’s because you’re intimidating”

Yes ok, in the past my mum is right. I would completely shut down any attempts of flirting. I can be quite strong-minded and lets say, feisty. I know that I need someone to challenge me to be seriously interested.

That last one I do not consider to be a compliment. I want a person to feel like they are able to talk to me, boys and girls and this has been said more than once at university, and it had never come up as a problem before.

At our flat party I proceeded to ask some boys I knew what they thought. They agreed. I then answered with: “I’M NOT FUCKING INTIMIDATING” which, admittedly, was my bad.

Right now, I’ve got a lot going on. I’ve been struggling with some things for months now and being in a relationship, dragging someone into that wouldn’t be fair. Despite the fact that I want one, I’ve realised I’m probably not ready for one and I can’t risk being disappointed again.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been by myself and it should be good for me. Luckily I’m not alone because I have my family and some fucking awesome friends and they have always been what are most important to me. Time to look after numero uno.

Look at me being all wise and sensible.

I hate that.



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