1,500 students skiing and drinking on a mountain, what could go wrong?
On Friday evening on the 31st of March we set off on a 24 hour coach and it actually wasn’t that bad. Our coach was pretty quiet which I grateful for because I was very hungover.
But one of the girls I was with, Hannah, started drinking and got smashed. She was very funny, upset about the dogs who had to be left in the car on the ferry, saying that she would never do that. She would disguise it as a guide dog (obviously a lot of thought had gone into the plan.) Later she just fell off the coach straight on the floor looking dazed and confused.
Our coach arrived at 11 pm so that night we only went out for a couple of jäger bombs, (essential when you’re from Bristol and on a mountain.)
It was.. not the best day skiing. We went out with Katy who is a beginner, she got so tired that her legs just stopped working. I tried to attach her to me so I could take her down, in a sort of spoon snake thing but it didn’t work. We ended up missing the first après, but I wasn’t too bothered because the conditions weren’t great and by 4pm all we wanted was to go down and get a pint and burger.
I did have a little bit of ski season Nostalgia. Although I would never do one again, it was such a good time.
At the après after party they had some music playing and an unveiling of a beer that was brewed FOR Bristol. I returned to my accommodation tipsy and very VERY burnt.
That night it was the magic round about bar crawl, we went to many bars, had many shots and danced many dances. We got drunk food and I had another burger with a unknown brown, yellow sauce that tasted delicious at the time. Yes that means I had two burgers in 24 hours, what of it?
Then disaster struck.
I woke up in the middle of the night thinking
“Oh no I fell asleep on my crisps, that’s annoying.”
Brushed them out the way. Then I thought..
“hmmm why are the crisps sticky?”
I got up and realised something awful. Being the fatty that I am I had fallen asleep with my hand in a packet of mini eggs. They had crushed and melted, chocolate all over my bed, all over my face, down my back and on my bra. It did sort of look like I shat the bed, but I was still mainly upset that I ruined my last bag of mini eggs.
I was very hungover again but we forced ourselves up and went skiing. We only did a bit before getting bolognese and pints. I am always happiest when I am on a mountain, with that view, a beer and my favourite meal. We skied back slightly intoxicated and everyone was falling over like messes, a boy casually skiing home with a sling.
We immediately started drinking again, made a huge punch with some shitty water lemonade.
There was too much Bingo at Bingo Bongo but the dancing on the chairs was hilarious. The girl next to me won a cardboard cut out of Ainsley Harriott and there was a boy by himself roaming the streets with an empty prize pram…
We got back and I slathered garlic cheese over everything and I’m not sure I can eat it ever again. Then we went to the club and had some strawberry shots but it could not revive me after the Bingo and the night ended.
That morning I woke up with crisps in my bed but I powered through and started my ski day once again.
This time we were a bit more organised and decided to buy some beer and put it in my bag before après so we didn’t have to buy a pint for €8. Circe were playing, coloured smoke and inflatables everywhere.
Katy went for the triple carb option for dinner: a cous cous baguette and pasta. What even is a vegetable? In the evening we saw My Nu Leng and Triple Cooked, that meant that we went to the three biggest nights in Bristol in one day. Oh..thats where my money went!
This was the worst I have ever felt. I was dying. My hands were shaking. And the sun burn was strong. I went off skiing by myself with the intention of going full speed ahead but I was so weak and pathetic and the conditions were snowy and cold.
I got mistaken for being French AGAIN. I look like the most English person ever, maybe it was the sunburn disguising my Victorian skin. They were talking about me and referred to me as “lady”, asked for a picture in that French/English people do. Then they started talking to me like I wasn’t a student. How old do I look?! The week clearly aged me.
I picked some tomato soup in a carton for dinner, surely you can’t fuck up tomato soup? I was wrong. It was the same colour as my face and just as watery. But like the trashy human I am I put my stolen restaurant pepper in and ate that shit up.
At pre drinks we confronted one of our members where she had been sneaking off to at night and suspiciously returning in the morning. We made sure to ask and then play ‘The Real Slim Shady’, making her stand up and tell us the story of this “friend.”
I peaked pretty early again and insisted on climbing into my top bunk for a power nap with my drink. However, when it was time to go I fell out and got a massive bruise on my arm. Luckily it was a beautiful purple black colour that matched my outfit. Katy got a drunk food pizza and dropped three slices on the floor, cheese down. I war cried: “spillage is likage” and scooped them up back into the box. Maybe they were eaten, maybe they weren’t. A “lady” never tells.
We got up accidentally quite late and everyone was feeling rough. An anyonomos pooer, I can’t say who, pooed 3 times in one morning. Isabelle’s boyfriend came round and could see us all beastly, still drunk and eating pasta at 11am, pouring wine into plastic bottles for later.
I was feeling pretty confident about my abilities until these boys I was on a chair lift with started discussing whether a front flip or backflip was easier.
We were such messes that day we just watched the night manager and drank wine, trying to keep it chill before going out. We loved playing ‘never have I ever’ and ‘would you rather’ like we were at a year 9 sleepover but I have never laughed so much. I started babbling about my burgers as I do and played the song “promiscuous girl” singing over it “mysterious sauce” and making up my own lyrics, a dedication of my love for drunk food before going to the arena for Circe de sol.
Got up really early to make the most of the last day of skiing after a night out. I went off and tried to ski all the slopes that I hadn’t done and then met up with everyone for lunch. Had some beers and a beautiful sandwich looking at the view.
A more advanced skier was with us so I went off with him and did some jumps. When we got back we returned the skis and realised that Hannah had the worst goggle tan ever, looking just like the batman signal.
The bar crawl stared at 8 so we started drinking and pathetically planned our 118 outfits. It consisted of us drawing moustaches and writing 118 on our foreheads, apart from Hannah of course who was a certain special superhero. Katy looked like a creepy man and could only be referred to as Pablo for the rest of the evening.
The bar crawl was in a shady basement, signing a disclaimer before going in. They gave us headbands and tied 3 of us together by the legs while Isabelle was the runner, running ahead to order the drinks. They also give you a bottle of wine to down before leaving. We made a pretty good system of walking, when stairs came along we shouted:
“The stairs are our bitch!”
Motivating ourselves by calling each other legends like the 118 lads we were.
After 4 bars we rested in the last one and ordered another drink, I didn’t have to pay for mine and I’m just going to assume it’s because the bartender liked the way I looked with a moustache. Hannah’s mum sent her a message asking to see her bum so when she was drunk I took a photo and sent it to her. Her mum replied:
“Um no sorry… I meant burn.”
We had a weird flat after party because it was still pretty early. This guy walked in thinking it was a different flat but then just stayed and joined. Later he ended up getting freaky with my mate on the balcony so best mistake of his life!
I have to say that I was a bit nervous about this trip, I had only met the girls I went with a couple of times but I’m so glad I did. It was ridiculously fun, completely forgetting that I have exams. I met a really cool bunch of people and we laughed all week. Although I ruined my liver and gained about a stone it was totally worth it.
Bristol, you have a wicked ski trip.