My ideal man

I have recently been described jokingly as a lesbian man hater by a couple of people since I started writing my blog. Hilarious. So I thought I would take the time to explain what my ideal “type” is, because shocker: I don’t hate men. To counter this statement I shall now include photos of me and my girlfriends having fun at Community Festival without any boys….

me and martha

I’ve never been one for looks, my opinion changes all the time, apart from when I’m drunk and I have a weird thing for blondes. It has been very obvious to me that if I don’t like someone’s personality or how they behave I lose attraction very easily. I even went through a phase of fancying Jonah Hill just because he made me laugh and I thought he was chubby and cute. I’m over it now…

In the past males have described me as: the devil, a reptile, a rock, a vampire. You know, cute pet names. Once I was even described to be like a Ferrero Rocher, hard on the outside but soft in the middle… although… then there’s a nut.

Get ready to cringe:


I work hard but I have no idea where my life is going, it’s scary but exciting! I love surprises and someone who takes risks, puts themselves out there with confidence. Someone who can challenge me and keep things interesting. They have a passion for what they love doing and have the same drive for success as me.

me and savannah

Don’t know if you got a girl


Seems like an obvious one but it is so important. I don’t take life too seriously and would like someone the same. I think you need a thick skin to date me as I know I can be quite savage at times, but if you can make fun of each other then it evens the score.

me and comm

Looking for my next victim


Well this is a serious one isn’t it. I would want this when I eventually choose to be exclusive. In my experience so far, I can’t imagine cheating. I know how it feels to be on the other end and I am an extremely loyal person I like to believe. I’m no angel but I’m pretty upfront with what I’m thinking or feeling and I would like to expect the same in return.


These hoes ain’t loyal

Softer than me

The Ferrero Rocher without the nut, why would they spoil it with the nut anyway? It would be much better without. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone who is kind and cares about people more than themselves, genuinely wanting to know what’s wrong if something is bothering you. Considering my “reptile” nature I should probably be with someone that’s a bit more open than me. They can check my pulse and see if I’ll show emotion when it doesn’t involve food.


They know


It would be great if they are part Asian, maybe with a Chinese mother who keeps telling me I’m too skinny and need feeding up. Also part Australian so our kids would have a chance at not being transparently pale like me. Sitting on the beach putting shrimp and dumplings on the barbie is the real dream.


Didn’t find him


Their ideal career is to be a house husband while I work. They’re not worried about money as they have a large inheritance that we use to spend money on flights to Australia to visit their family and pay for a surrogate so that I don’t have to go through child birth.


Glitter landslide

Ok maybe this got a little bit less serious, but on a basic level the ideal would love trying new foods, travelling and dogs. While also being a rich, ripped, model, Australian/Asian man who is an excellent cook with no career plans. Is that too much to ask?!

Or if your name is Ryan Reynolds or Chris Pratt,  hit me up.


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