Drunk free things

I don’t like getting drinks from guys in clubs when it’s clear they think it’s in exchange for something. Although, there have been times when men seem to just randomly have given me and my friends free things whenever everyone gets drunk, with no ulterior motive I’m sure…

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Here are some of my weirdest experiences:

WHISKY HIM AWAY

I was out with one of my friends in a club in London when this guy approached us. He was pretty good-looking with an Irish accent and training to be a doctor. Then he told us he was a millionaire. Of course we didn’t believe him as it was like I had made a man order on amazon. He then proceeded to Google his mums name (the real millionaire) and sure enough there she was on Wikipedia, with him and his brother standing either side of her. He said they weren’t getting along, with some serious mummy issues and wanted to rinse her card to annoy her. Unlimited free drinks. Of course we didn’t say no, we were helping the poor boy out! Fixing his problems one vodka lemonade at a time. Unfortunately, we eventually lost him in the crowd, and my future husband is somewhere out there unknown. I wait for him every Tuesday night at XOYO hoping that he’ll get me drunk again.

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He could have bought me this fur coat

CALL ME CRYSTAL

For another friends eighteenth we went to one of the sleaziest clubs I have ever been to, getting proposed to by a creepy man instantly walking in. With a combination of horror and fear of commitment, I urged him to stand up immediately and stop being so weird. There was a pole in this club on a little podium and one of the girls started to mess around on it. Suddenly, a ten-pound note was thrusted through the bars by this random man. She was a bit surprised but figured it was free money so took it. This girl and me walked out of the club together, completely done with the harassment when the same money men followed us out onto the street. They proceeded to try and convince us to go to a casino with them and then back to their apartment. He had a better chance at a game of roulette than taking me home. I guessed he was in his early forties, chatting up eighteen year old Izzy and taking off his shoes so I could wear them. We didn’t go anywhere with them, but I did shamelessly accepted a £20 note to buy myself a taxi home and far away.

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Omg VODKA! We’re so crazy

BOB & MARLEY

Recently at a festival, Benicassim, I was hanging out in the crowd minding my own business when once again two older men approached us. Their English wasn’t great but they continued to try their best to make conversation while shoving filters, cigarettes and weed into our hands saying it was free. Which I then REFUSED TO ACCEPT AS IS THE LAW MOTHER (cough cough,) not from the smoke I swear…Then they offered to buy us some shots which again, we accepted. They didn’t really seem to have the intention of following us around. We said that we’d see them later and they were waving goodbye, looking pretty happy with the exchange as we disappeared into the crowds of thousands of people. Even when a good-looking guy approached me I somehow got on the topic of offering him a hat (which we got for free) for a drink token, he was simply making conversation but he accepted the offer and that was that. I was on a trip for business not pleasure.

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Why is it always me and you

Boys don’t have to buy girls anything on nights out, but if you want to then splash the cash. I know I get generous with my friends after a couple of drinks as I just want everyone to have a good time. I think it’s obvious to never give a random person £20 though, but just as a warning anyway as it has happened. Sometimes I do feel bad, but then I think to myself: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

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Make good choices kids.

 

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